Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘food’

Our inner dialogue or self-talk can sabotage our goals and health.  Whether negative or positive, it will influence our mood and emotions.  Statements such as “I should be” or “I could have” mire us in the past or future, rather than the here and now.  This particularly holds true when it comes to eating.  The best place to be with regard to food, is to take pleasure in whatever it is we are eating in the present moment.

When we make conscious food choices and eat mindfully we are less likely to overeat or beat ourselves up for whatever it was we consumed.

It’s important to pay attention to the words we use to describe our food choices.  Do any of the following sound familiar?

“I was so good today.  All I ate was salad.”

“I was so bad today—I ate ice cream and cake at the party.”

“I cheated on my diet with a whole bag of chips.”

 “I’m a total failure—I can’t stop eating carbs.”

The words we choose to describe what we eat have a powerful impact on our psyche.  Linking food choices with our self-worth is damaging and destructive.  Berating ourselves for our choices—any choice—is perhaps the most damaging and destructive behavior of all. We aren’t a mess, a disaster, a train wreck. We are simply a person, struggling with a difficult issue.

We are worth more than the food we put on our plate. Our value has nothing to do with ice cream or broccoli.  Thinking of ourselves as a good or a bad person based on our food choice can be a repetitive cycle we are doomed to repeat. Imagine, for a moment, that your food is just food, and that your choices are just choices—good, bad, those words describe your decisions, not you. Imagine how freeing that would be?

We don’t tell our children that they are bad or good based on their choices.  We tell them that they made a not-so-good choice, and then we talk to them about the consequences of that choice and how to make a different one in the future.  We can do the same for ourselves.

To change our relationship with food, we need to develop a new language around our food and to eat mindfully.  Which simple means that we consciously choose what we want to eat and we enjoy our choice.  Making simple statements devoid of judgement is the first step.

“All I ate was salad today.”

“I ate ice cream and cake at the party.”

“I ate a whole bag of chips.”

 “I ate carbs.”

Boiled down to a simple statement we can, if we want, figure out why we made that choice.  Once we know, we can begin the process of making a different choice based on our own values and goals.  Allow ourselves to become aware of our feelings around that choice. For example, feelings like worry, fear, stress, frustration, resentment and anxiety, can profoundly impact our food choice or result in us eating unconsciously.  Mindfulness opens the mind to see opportunity and choice.  When we eat more mindfully, we are bringing our full attention to food and eating. Some ways to do that are:

Give your full attention to the food that is in front of you by taking three deep breaths.

For the first breath, inhale the smells. Exhale any tension or stress.

For the second breath, inhale, knowing that the feeling of hunger will pass. Exhale your  worries.

For the third breath, inhale the present moment. Exhale thoughts of tasks, projects and  deadlines.

Tell yourself, “I can choose to relax and enjoy eating.”

Pause. Let your eyes feast on the food before you and celebrate what you will be eating.

Now, taste the bite directly. Notice everything and anything you can about the food in your mouth. Pause and let yourself fully take in the experience.

We want our food choices to provide variety, moderation and balanced nutrition.  We want our thoughts of food, hunger and weight to occupy only a small part of the day.  And we want to eat for health, pleasure and energy.  And afterward – simply feel satiated.

Advertisements

Read Full Post »

It’s the second week of January, and are you are still gung-ho about your resolutions? Or maybe you didn’t make any, so you are avoiding all those people who did and go on and on about how wonderful they are. And you resist saying, “I saw you eat that candy bar.”

The number one New Year’s Resolution is to lose weight. Most of the people who make that vow abandon it by Valentine’s Day.

There are a variety of reasons why that happens:

  • Goal is too lofty – “I’m going to lose fifty pounds by March”
  • Goal isn’t maintainable – “I will eat only lettuce and drink only water for one month.”
  • Goal is constricting – “The only way to lose weight is to never eat any of the foods I love.”

There is plenty of information out there to guide you in being successful at sticking to your resolutions. And my role as a Coach would be very beneficial in that regard. But that’s not the purpose here. I want to give you some advice on what to do when you fall off the wagon, eat that brownie while hiding in the bathroom, or buy a gym membership, all the right clothes for exercise, and never use it.

If any of those or similar situations happen to you, give yourself some compassion. Practice Self-Kindness.  If your inner voice continually criticizes and berates you for making a mistake or not reaching your goal, you often end up in a negative cycle of self-sabotage.   You “throw out the baby with the bathwater” and resolve that next year will be different. Or make your mantra, “You fail at everything you try so why bother!”

If you eliminate harsh self-criticism and treat yourself as you would a good friend, you’ll come out a winner. We are usually kind to those we love when they mess up. We reassure them with respect and support and remind them that they are human. We encourage them to pick themselves up and try again. We counsel them. Yet we often deny ourselves this same compassion.

So when you find yourself in this place of self-degradation, take a self-compassion break. Here’s how:

Sit comfortably and place your hands on your heart

Breathe deeply in and out

Then speak these words or similar words in a warm and caring tone, out loud or silently. (If you are in the restroom at work, you may want to say them silently.)

This is a small detour from my goal

I will be kind to myself

I will give myself the compassion I need.

Repeat the words several times until you feel a sense of warmth and compassion emanating from you for you.

From this place, you can reevaluate your goal, rather than completely abandon it. Here are some things to think about.

Was it difficult to achieve? By breaking it down into smaller bites, it’s not as daunting.   Change one thing at a time. Use a smaller plate. Eat more slowly to recognize when you are full. Replace one unhealthy food you eat regularly with a healthy one.

Is there another variation easier to accomplish? Losing weight isn’t just about restricting what you eat. Perhaps starting to move more is a better start for you.

Is it your goal, or someone else’s?  Everywhere we turn we hear that we need to eat healthier and maintain a slim body. Any goal is more challenging if you are doing it for someone else. Your best chance of success is doing it for you. It may still benefit someone else, but you decide that you want to do this because you deserve: to be healthy, to have more money in the bank, to be happy.

Do you need additional support to achieve it? Make sure your support system includes people who will call you on your excuses. Remind you of all the reasons why you wanted to do this in the first place and all the benefit you will reap.

“I get by with a little help from a friend.”  Treat yourself as you would your best friend.

Read Full Post »

Reprogramming my brain so that food is something I enjoy without guilt or remorse started with a plan for what, where and how I eat. I have always been a planner for the important things in life. I have a spending plan, so why not an eating plan? Just as I don’t wish to be careless with my money, I don’t wish to be careless with my eating.

My plan requires discipline. I believe that discipline can be as strong as it can be flexible. I don’t think of it as punishment or restraint. I think of it as a creative way to accomplish my objectives. And I feel that each discipline may be different, but without discipline in food we will never be healthy for long.

My discipline includes loving kindness, understanding and compassion when I stray from it. It includes deep looking to understand why I eat out of emotion rather than hunger. It includes food rules.

Rules do not take the fun out of eating. They put the fun back in. I had to ask myself if I was really enjoying food. I ate quickly without tasting more than the first bite. I automatically ate whatever was in front of me, whether or not it was something I really wanted. I ate too much sometimes, leaving me uncomfortable and guilty. I chose to replace unconscious eating with conscious rules.

My eating rules include three E’s:
Eat when I am hungry
Eat mindfully
Eat healthy

Before I start to eat, I ask myself why I am going to eat. Am I truly hungry? Am I using food to feel better? Is there something in front of me that I really like?

If I am truly hungry, I eat. If I am using food to feel better, I find something else that will make me feel better. If there is something in front of me that I really like and I’m not hungry, I might take a bite or set it aside until I am hungry. If I’m not at home, I reassure myself that this will not be the last time there is a piece of carrot cake in front of me.

By giving myself permission to do what I feel is best for me in the moment, because it’s a conscious decision, I eliminate guilt and any chance of me thinking I’ve been “bad.”

By eating mindfully, I really enjoy the taste and texture of food. I choose food that I really enjoy. I eat more slowly, by putting my fork down between bites. I stop when I feel full, even if there is food left on my plate. I know this will bother my mother if she reads this:)

My rule to eat healthy is a result of loving myself enough to feel I deserve it. Just as I would take good care of anyone I love, I choose to take good care of me. This is how I’ve reduced the power ice cream had over me. Gradually I’ve reprogramed my brain so that ice cream now resides in the same category as any other food. I eat it consciously, slowly and only when it really appeals to me in the moment.

Thanksgiving is a couple of days away. I will apply all my rules I will eat mindfully. I will enjoy the food. I will balance between food that is healthy and food that is less so. I will celebrate abundance.  I will not surrender to it.

Read Full Post »

Walking down the hallway to the pool at the YMCA, I realize I locked the key for my lock in the locker. This isn’t the first time I’ve created a lock problem for myself. Another time, I forgot the lock combination, which is why I now use a lock that opens with a key.

I’ve locked myself out of my car a few times (once, it was still running), out of my apartment (the landlord had to break in), and numerous accounts that need a password.

And while all of those situations caused me stress, what’s been most debilitating is locking myself out of fully enjoying food. It’s a self-imposed lock created as a result of our culture, the type of food I eat and not eating mindfully. I have and still do sometimes – overeat.

Growing up we didn’t have a lot of sweets. My parents didn’t allow us to eat much candy or drink soda. My mother cooked all our meals from scratch. It wasn’t until adulthood when processed foods, with that wonderful combination of sugar, fat and salt were mainstreamed, that I started to gain weight. I still remember the excitement of TV dinners! What I didn’t know, was that the processed food I ate and served to my family, was training my body and mind to want to eat more. I started mindlessly overeating.

By overeating, I mean eating all the time whether or not I am hungry and eating large quantities of food no matter how bad it might be for me. I’ve joked about how ice cream seems to call to me from the freezer. If I resist the temptation to eat it, I would think about it and think about it, until I finally give in and “to be good,” take a large spoonful of it and eat it standing in the kitchen. And then another and another. And tell myself, at least I didn’t eat a whole bowl!! This wasn’t because I am weak or lack will-power.

It’s because that ice cream triggers the reward system of my brain, stimulating it to want more and more. Eating foods that are a combination of sugar and fat, make food so powerful that it is hard to resist. Our brains become hardwired and tell us to eat as much of this stuff as we can get. Does that mean I am doomed to a life of overeating and feeling like food is the enemy? No, no, no.

Stayed tuned for part two. I will tell you how I began and am still working on reprogramming my brain so that food is now something I can enjoy without guilt or remorse. And the ice cream no longer beckons.

Read Full Post »

Nutritious people are the people in our lives who genuinely feed our souls. They nurture the deepest part of us. They truly hear what we have to say. They reflect back to us our innermost thoughts and feelings. They listen without judging. Their eyes light up when they see us and their presence lightens our load. They love us with the fewest plans for our improvement.

Are you able to nurture yourself? Do you feed your soul with gratefulness and caring? Do you pay attention to what you really need? Do you judge yourself harshly or with kindness?

 If we want to nurture the people we love, we must nurture ourselves. And we can do that in numerous ways, but not with food. Food may satisfy a longing or emptiness of the soul for a brief moment. But its effect is not sustaining. If we nurture our souls and the deepest part of us, food becomes a pleasurable experience and not a substitute for love.

Read Full Post »

‘Twas the day after Christmas, and I looked all around,

Reminders of yesterday were everywhere to be found.

Wrapping paper, toy pieces, cookie crumbs under foot,

Dirty dishes and empty glasses on the counter were put.

 

As I lounged in my sweat pants, ‘cause they were all that would fit,

I sipped on my coffee, just wanting to sit.

I’ll clean it up later; I need to just think.

How much food had I eaten and eggnog did I drink?

 

When I thought about how much, my brain had much chatter,

And I tried to make sense of what really did matter.

So I ate a few cookies, chocolate pie and great snacks,

If I could change my consumption, would I put it all back?

 

A “No” was the answer, it was only one day.

Eating all of those goodies, my resolve did not slay.

I’ll get back to me eating all the best food,

And not chastise myself or my psyche treat rude.

 

What happened to change all my usual acts,

Like choosing food thoughtfully, so there’s nothing I lack?

I was caught up with all of that holiday cheer.

And Christmas does happen but once every year.

 

So those feelings of guilt and remorse in my head,

I can make go away so I’m left with no dread.

It was only one day and that does not make me “bad,”

I’ll make peace with the knowledge of all that I’ve had.

 

The continuous nature of my choice to eat right,

Does not disappear in one day and one night.

I can make up my mind to get back in the groove,

For it’s only for me I have something to prove.

 

I will make the decisions that keep me in good health,

And do for my body what fills it with wealth.

I know the right foods that will keep me from pain.

And true to my good intentions I will remain.

 

So I hope if you suffer the same kind of remorse,

You will take it in stride and resume your true course.

We’re in charge of our bodies; we can give them what’s right.

Happy New Year to all!!  Keep your intentions in sight.

Read Full Post »

V – Visualize how you want to be.  Years ago I thought about selling Avon, but the idea terrified me.  Ring doorbells and talk to people I had never met before!!!   Encouraged by family and friends, I decided to give it a try.  The first few times I visited my territory, I drove around the neighborhood for awhile and then went home and told my husband that no one was home.  I couldn’t admit that I was afraid to ring that first bell.

My best friend Trudy was an Avon Lady, so I visualized myself as her.  I cast myself in the role of a successful, outgoing Avon Lady.  And that was the internal message I played over and over in my head when I started ringing doorbells.  Now I wish I could tell you that I was wildly successful and made lots of money selling Avon, but that wasn’t the case.  But what I learned about myself was priceless.  I could talk to people I’d never met.  I wasn’t completely comfortable doing it, but the people I met never knew.

Now I feel quite comfortable connecting with all sorts of people.  I begin with a smile and then a brief comment on whatever is going on in the moment.  Sometimes we continue the conversation and sometimes it’s just a brief, but pleasurable encounter, leaving both of us feeling good!

Read Full Post »

Silver Birch Press

New Voices in Fiction, Nonfiction, Plays & Poetry

Journal Stories

Reflections and inspiration from my journal....

Susan B Anthony Live

One woman show portraying Susan B Anthony

Beat the Diet Demons!

Who's in charge? Is it you, or is it the food that beckons you to eat it?

The Domestic Rebel

Everyday Ingredients, Extraordinary Desserts

Front Parlor Series

Public Storytelling in the Collar City and Beyond

Cate LaBarre

Personal Coaching for Your Wellbeing

The WordPress.com Blog

The latest news on WordPress.com and the WordPress community.